In the briefest terms possible, after a two-month "break", Roman and I spent the past weekend together at a regional Mensa gathering in central New Jersey. We almost didn't survive it. There was a lot of anger and frustration. You have to give the guy credit. He knew what was likely to happen, and he went anyway, and it was an effort that he made for me. It was a release for me and an ordeal for him.
We did survive.
I think my feelings for him are stronger now than before, because I trust him more now. I believe in him. I understand much better what's been going on, and, well, I am content.
Anyone who thought that he was using and abusing me, that he was manipulating me, I can assure you now that was not the case. Well, actually he was manipulating me, but I finally understand his motive, and it's ok. It was not dishonorable - it was simply the actions of a male trying to protect himself. I believe he was and is sincere and honorable in his intentions toward me. We may be able to break the negative feedback spiral we were in.
It may or may not work out, but at least, right now, for the moment, I think we can try.
In the past, I had a lot of confusion and pain, and I had nowhere to take it except to Daughter, a few friends, and these pages, in a search for understanding. I hope that now Roman and I will be able to talk more openly. So, you may not see him mentioned here for a while.
Wish us luck.
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