Monday, June 04, 2012

3541 Challenge

Monday, June 4, 2012

Criminals do not die by the hands of the law. They die by the hands of other men.
-- George Bernard Shaw --

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June!  Agh!  Already?

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The GPS says my city house is 29 feet above sea level.  Not enough, I think.  Next time I go to the country house, I'll have to check there.

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I went to a small hafla last Friday evening.  Some kids were selling raffle tickets at 20 cents each for some charity.  I bought five.  I won.  First time I've ever won a raffle.  Each of the vendors there had contributed something to the raffle, so I won a shopping bag containing a tiny glazed mirror exactly the right size for the sink in the half bath, a CD from the group who performed the music, a nice jingle hip scarf, a plush camel, two long sexy yarn hair doflinkies, an anklet, and a couple other things I can't remember now.  After I got home I found a card entitling me to a hula hoop - which annoyed me because I'd actually considered buying one from the vendor.  (After reflection, it has occurred to me that said vendor, knowing there was a coupon in the bag since the hoop wouldn't have fit, should have searched out the raffle winner.  Hey, there weren't that many people there.)

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Sumthin' else I don't understand:  Howcum if God tells you to do X, like join the priesthood, marry a particular person, or run for national office, then you can publicly claim God speaks to you and many people will believe you and consider you favored by God.

But if God tells you to do Y, like kill a particular person, set fire to yourself, or bomb a building for political reasons, then the courts and public opinion consider you insane if you claim God told you to do it.

Who are we to decide what God will or will not tell a person to do?  To whom He will or will not speak?  Who are we to ascribe motives to God?  If Man did not create God, then how can Man define God?   We can read God's mind?  We know what He's likely to say, and to whom He's likely to speak, and what His ulterior motive is for what He says to them?  If He says only things we want Him to say, then we have created God in our own image.

Read the Bible.  That God ain't necessarily nice, doesn't always play fair.

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I've been playing "Every Word" on the Kindle.  I'm not good at it, but I figure it's good for me.  They give you a bunch of letters, and you have to find all the words that can be created from those letters to rack up points, and at least one word that uses all the letters to proceed to the next level.

Yesterday I was given W S T O G H R  on level six (of ten).  I had to find 34 words of 4 letters or more, including one using all seven letters.  (The program, by the way, doesn't accept proper nouns or abbreviations (a lie!  It accepts things like "prof" and "ref") or a a lot of other perfectly good words.  There's this "list".  So if you find more than 34 total, some of them weren't on the "accepted" list.)

Anyway, try it.  

I worked at it forever, handed it to Daughter, and she got the seven-letter word almost instantly.

Um, no, I don't remember what it was.  Sorry.  Take a whack at it in the comments.  (I'll bet Becs gets it first.)
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Wednesday, May 30, 2012

3540 Good enough

Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Fear does not prevent death. It prevents life.

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A while ago I wrote about "good enough", and how Jay would get trapped in tweaking projects looking for perfection.   Lifehacker recently posted a simple solution to the problem, a way to avoid the trap. 

Before you even start the project, simply first define what constitutes "finished", what Lifehacker describes as the "definition of done". (The term comes from a software development strategy called Scrum, but it can be applied to almost any situation.  See What Can Software Developers Teach us About Crushing the ‘Perfection Bug’?.)

You make a list of all the criteria the project must meet to be considered done.  The criteria should be measurable.  When it meets those criteria, it's done.  Period.  You can stop tweaking.

In software development, you are handed a list of requirements and specifications.  If compactness, elegance, and performance are part of the requirements, they should be listed.  To landscape your front garden, decide up front what effect you want to accomplish.   Planning a party?  Define what you want to happen.  Note that the list is not simply a shopping list.  It's effects you MUST accomplish, and it should be a minimum list.

Perfectionists will continue to add specifications, expanding the list as the project proceeds.  You can't do that.  Spend enough time on the definition of "done" up front, and then resist the urge to add to it.  When it's done, it's done.  Good enough is good enough.

Jay's problem was an emotional and psychological fear of never being good enough.  I blame his father for that.  J Senior demanded nothing less than absolute perfection, and perfection was defined as "the way *I* would have done it".  If the child Jay didn't do things perfectly, his father pointed out all the flaws, and took over the project himself.  He had the attitude that if it wasn't exactly the way he himself would have done it, exactly the decisions he would have made, then it was "stupid", and he used that exact word.  I heard him say "That's stupid" to Jay a dozen times before I told him that if he ever again implied that my husband was stupid, I'd feed him a list of all the stupid things he says and does, "starting with your haircut and what you feed your dog!  It's no damn wonder she has a heart problem!"  He never did it again, but I could see him biting his tongue as he glanced at me.

If it meets "done" criteria, and if the criteria are good, then it is done and good enough.
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Monday, May 28, 2012

3539 Stress

Monday, May 28, 2012

"Knowing how to think empowers you far beyond those who know only what to think."
--  Neil deGrasse Tyson --

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Clarifying  the previous post - the guy has not had reassignment surgery.  He's just wearing women's clothes now, and "being" a woman.  He is 100% male physically, and it all works.  He never felt that he was actually female.  It's just that in addition to all the maleness, functional testes and penis and attraction to women, he also has ovaries.  Just stray accidental ovaries floating around in there, nothing else.  (It could be worse - there are people with entire stunted twins inside them.)  Anyway, the estrogen from the ovaries causes some feminizing effects.  Since discovering the existence of the ovaries, he has decided he's "actually" a woman.

Huh?  "Actually?"  I know a guy who has four thumbs, twelve fingers.  Is he "actually" alien? 

If he had the ovaries removed, he'd be the husband and father, the MAN, he thought he was, and was quite happy being, before he discovered the ovaries.  I think he's incredibly stupid, and he's getting very bad medical and psychological advice.

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This month has disappeared so quickly.  Poof. That saddens me.  It seems that the older you get, the faster time passes.  I don't know whether it's because you get so much less done, or that over your shoulder you see a shadow catching up.  On the other hand, I don't want to get as much done as I used to.  It's time to slow down and watch the butterflies.

I've been thinking about stress, and the effect it has on health.  There's a lot more stress here than at the country house.  Not like there's stuff poking at me, it's just an atmosphere.  Days are a lot less relaxed.  It's like things are going on all the time.  There's no pause, no pause in time.  The air is dirtier.  There's an undercoat of noise.  It feels like there's more demand on me, even though no person is demanding.  And I feel like bits and pieces of my body are giving up.

The Man has been experiencing  a lot of stress, and it shows.  Nothing I can do about that, except not to add more.

Jasper doesn't seem to be more stressed.  I'm gone two or three days a week, but although that would badly distress a dog, I don't think a cat is stressed by that.  Oh, it's obvious he missed me, but that's not the same as stress.

Dogs are pack animals.  Their humans are their pack.  The most damaging thing you can do to a lone dog is to ostracize them from the pack, either tied outside, shut out of the room, or confined to a cage.  They need a pack, and they need to be with the pack, no matter what their status within the pack. 

Cats are just the opposite.  Most domestic cats come from lone-hunter stock.  They seem to like being alone, and if they don't have a lot of other stimulus, they will chose the company of one other animal or human.  (If they do have a lot of stimulus, humans become mere can openers.)  Usually a cat in a family will chose ONE of the humans to be his or her special human.  Cats don't jockey for status.  They assume their status is high, because there is no pack.  There are articles on what stresses a cat, but the articles address sudden changes, like how to handle moves, new people or pets, or schedule changes.  What about constant low level stress?

At the country house, Jasper saw birds and squirrels on the deck.  Here, he also sees other cats in the yard and on the patio, and at first it scared him so badly he pulled the curtains down.  Is that a temporary freakout, or a constant source of stress?  Can that be why whenever he is downstairs, he stays close to me?  He was more independent in the country.

I wonder if anyone has done a study on the comparative health of dogs secure within their pack (human or canine family) and dogs who are constantly stressed by being shut away from the pack.  I wonder if there have been any studies on the comparative health of cats who are the only pet, and those who don't get "alone time". (I'm thinking of those retirement homes for cats, that are supposed to be such wonderful places, but I wonder if it's actually stressing to cats who had until "retirement" always had alone-time when they wanted it.  Domestic cats are not herd animals.)

Theories?
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Saturday, May 26, 2012

3538 I'm actually a MAN! Apparently a gay man....

Saturday, May 26, 2012

Female spiders eat the males after mating because collecting
life insurance is easier than collecting child support.

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The kids left for Pennsylvania this morning, to visit Hercules' folks.  Returning late tomorrow.

The temperature was 75 F at 9:30 this morning, but it's very sunny and humid, so it feels hotter.  Supposed to get into the 80s.  I've finally turned the A/C on.

I've got a van to unload, bookcases to assemble, acres of laundry piles, and a drift of paper and photographs to sort and file, so I'll appreciate the uninterrupted alone time.  Naturally, I've brought papers down from the country house, but but not yet the file cabinets. I'm using those brown accordion folders.

I found a large box of vacation photos in the country house den closet.  Not MY vacations - Jay and his ex-wife's vacations.  I started to throw them away, and then reconsidered.  I know where she lives.  So on my way back, I stopped at her house in the village and dropped them off with her boyfriend.  I'm glad she wasn't home, because I really didn't want to talk with her, but I do feel virtuous about giving her the photos. (Even though when she and Jay split, she took every photo she could find, and Jay had to beg for some of the negatives.  Yeah, residual bitterness.  She knew they were important to him and it did crush him.  He was a shutterbug.)

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Google "Steve Crecelius".  Stories all over the internet about him/her.  I guess there's a dearth of real news.  Or maybe it's just that sensationalism sells advertising.  When I read the first story (Yahoo front page), it annoyed me so much I searched around to find a REAL story that didn't appeal to the ignorant.  Doesn't exist.

He was in his forties, I think, father of six children, and discovered from a kidney ultrasound five years ago that he had ovaries, in addition to the usual male equipment.  The headlines say he discovered he's actually a woman!.

Um, no.  He's a man who also has ovaries and therefore estrogen, in addition to the testes and testosterone.  There's no uterus or vagina, although the estrogen did cause small breasts.  Otherwise he has all the usual secondary male sexual characteristics, like a beard, and he's attracted to women. 

But he has decided he's actually a woman!, since as a child he enjoyed playing with his mother's makeup (lots of little boys do), likes dresses, and he "walks like a girl".  Um, a girl walks like a girl because she has wider hips, and has been culturally conditioned to walk that way.  You, Steve/Stevie, do not have a girl's hips, you are still not a girl.  You just have some extraneous ovaries kicking out estrogen that confuses your head.  Let's not forget that the testes and everything that goes with them works just fine.  If you're confused, have the ovaries removed.  You obviously don't need them.

His wife took him shopping for his first bra.  (Another forehead dent in my desk.)  Steve, you've gone all your life without a bra.  You don't need one now.   Even REAL women don't need bras to be women.

The male/female classifications are not black and white.  100% male and 100% female are extreme ends of a spectrum.  There are many gradations, many combinations of accoutrements, and many physical and hormonal reasons for them.  Something like 1 in 10 babies are born somewhere on that scale other than the extremes (probably more, it's just not immediately obvious).  Wikipedia has a good article on it (intersex).  Most people fall somewhere close to one end or the other.  I for example, are high in androgens, and have what is medically termed clitoral hypertrophy (clitoromegaly), although not freakishly so, nothing to write home about.  I'm just well beyond the norms.   But there's never been any question that I'm completely female.

Until now!

Oh my God!  I mostly don't wear makeup, I've never liked makeup, wear it out socially only because it's expected and a sexual advantage in attracting male attention.  I don't especially like dresses and skirts, prefer pants, but wear "feminine" things, again because it's expected and a sexual lure.  I really do like attracting men.  But ... Holy Crap!  According to Steve/Stevie's logic, I'm actually a man!

So stop calling me Silk.  I'm really Sylvester.

(Heh.  I can't wait until Steve hits menopause and the estrogen wanes.  How silly is he going to feel then?)

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Yeah, I know that there are men who go through sexual reassignment surgery to become women, but are still attracted to women.  Yeah, I know it's all mixed up, both physical manifestations and psychological.  But Steve's case is different, in my opinion, in that he never "felt like a woman trapped in a man's body".  Never felt homosexual.  He just had a slightly feminizing influence from more estrogen than is usual in males. 
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Friday, May 25, 2012

3537 Hair! The solution!

Friday, May 25, 2012

The underwire in a woman’s bra deflected a bullet. It also lifted, separated, defined and supported.  Her terrified thong tried to hide and was almost impossible to remove from the scene.

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Hair saga:   When my hair was long, it was easy.  I just trimmed the ends, and for bangs I'd grab a hank, hold it straight up and make one cut, automatic taper.  Done.  I'd been doing that all my life, because when my mother was in charge of my hair, I'd never had a salon cut that didn't leave me crying.

Eighteen months ago I decided to go short.  I tried salons again, thinking that hey, I'm adult, I'm in charge now.  They pretty much did what they wanted to do, not what I wanted, no matter what I said, and I wasn't happy. 

I tried cutting it myself, and it took forever, with much twisting and swearing.  The top and sides were ok, but I simply can't wield scissors with my left hand while looking at the back of my head in the mirror.  I tried using clippers on the back, but blending where it meets the upper back was hit or miss, and it's too difficult to get it the right length anyway.

I'd finally get it sort of right over a period of several days or weeks, snipping hither and yon, constantly with itchy bits of hair all over me, the bathroom sinks, and the floors.  And then when it finally looked good, within a week it was too long again and time to do it all over again.  It was choppy from my hacking, so to go to a salon and say "cut it just like this, but shorter" would be asking for trouble.  They'd try to "fix it" and guess wrong.

I've been moaning over it.  It was now about a half inch too long to be manageable.  Sigh.  Here we go again.

I went to the country house (I'm not calling them the old and the new house any more; they are now officially "the country house" and "the city house") this past week and found the solution to all my hair problems in the back of the coat closet.

In about the mid-'90s, we had tried a haircutting thingy for Jay's hair that attaches to the vacuum cleaner.  It sucks the hair into a tube where there's rotating blades, and the clippings go into the vacuum cleaner.  (There are three versions on the internet.  I won't recommend any particular one because they all have advantages and disadvantages, but I will say that the RoboCut and clones is infinitely adjustable for various lengths, where the Flowbee and clones has multiple set lengths, which is important to know if you want a smooth taper.)  It didn't really work on Jay's hair because he had strange thin spots on the back of his head where the hair had to be cut slightly longer to cover them, so it got packed up and stored in the closet. (My hair was very long then, so I wasn't cutting mine.)

I brought it down to the city house, and this evening I tried it.  It works!  I LOVE my cut!  It's perfect!  It took less than 10 minutes, there's no itchy bits on me or on the floor, and it's done.  Done done done.  And so what if it needs another trim in a week or two?  It took less than 10 minutes!  I can give myself a quick trim before going out for dinner.

I had to sketch out the lengths I wanted.  I measured the hair all over my head and made a chart marking the length all over.  Like a sketch from the front and the side, with the hair sticking out light-socket-wise.  I decided to play it safe and take off only a half inch all over.  It's always easier to go shorter if that's not enough.  I started at the top, set the tube to to 3.5 inches, then graduated to 3.0 upper back, 2.0 from the top of my ear around to the other ear, and taper down to 1.5 below that.  If you scrub the tube up and down a bit, it blends nicely.

And believe it or not, both sides of my head are now the same length!  I've never been able to do that by hand.

My only sadness now is that I was afraid to do it before The Man visited.  I cut it about six hours after he'd left.  Too bad.  But at least I can easily maintain this.
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Tuesday, May 22, 2012

3536 Kitchen flooring

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Wildlife officials say cougars are expanding into the central U.S.
Residents are advised to lock up their teenage sons.

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Writing about bathroom sinks reminded me about the current trend in kitchen floors.

People want stone, tile, or a stained waxed cement floor in the kitchen (which is more visually attractive than it sounds).  That's what's "in".

Duh?  Why?

People in the kitchen are standing 90%+ of the time.  One rarely sits in the work areas in the kitchen.  You're on your feet.  Also, fragile things get dropped.  So why on earth would you want a rock-hard floor?

So many of the big box stores have polished cement floors, and I actually suffer if I have to wander around them too long.  I go in with a list and go directly to what I want by the most direct route, and get out.  They might sell a lot more casual purchases if the floors were kinder.

A proper floor for the kitchen is resilient.  It has some amount of gentle give.  Like poly-sealed wood, or a resilient tile or sheet goods over wood.  Those industrial-looking rubber tiles are a good idea for the feet, legs, and back, but the raised plug surface texture they all have makes them a bit hard to clean. (And why do they seem to come only in gray?)

In the '70s there was a brief spate of carpeted kitchen floors.  That didn't last long for obvious reasons.  What were designers thinking?

The kitchen floor in the new house is matte ceramic tile.  I don't like it.  It's hard and cold and unforgiving.
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3535 More stuff I don't understand

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Sometimes one person's inability to understand looks like another person's inability to explain.
-- Dilbert --

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I don't understand English.  I suspected I didn't understand, but I didn't know how completely I didn't understand until I took the ESL (English as a second language) teacher training.  For example:
changer
hanger
anger
Angie
Why are they all pronounced differently?  What makes the "g" and "a" different?

I don't understand.

I do understand why the Québécois insist on speaking French.  At least there is consistency in pronunciation.  There are rules!

Speaking of pronunciation, I watched a video yesterday, a kid demonstrating how to do something.  Every other sentence started with, "Ima".  Like "Ima put this in the bowl, then Ima mix in the powder, then Ima add some water."  It took me a few minutes to realize that he was saying "I'm going to" (I think...).  

It's no damn wonder English is so difficult.  We don't even speak it any more.

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I have a plan of attack. 

I'm going to make an appointment with a specialist in blood vessels, and find out about why it hurts so badly when anyone messes with my veins, why they blow out and shut down, whether there is some way to make it easier to have blood drawn and to get contrast dyes, and get some details about my "fragile capillaries" and exactly how dangerous it would be to have the kidney stone zapped. 

Then I can maybe make some educated decisions on what to do next.

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I don't understand the fascination with pedestal sinks in the bathroom.  They're like granite counter tops.  You ain't got a high class house without 'em.

Why?

Granite (or any stone) counter tops don't make sense because they stain unless you constantly reseal them, are high maintenance, and their density is unforgiving if you set a piece of fine china down a bit too hard.

Likewise, pedestal sinks make no sense whatsoever.  There's no room on top to set anything down.  That was ok when bathrooms were huge - usually because in the dawn of indoor bathrooms, they were converted spare bedrooms.  There was plenty of space for cabinets and counters next to the sink. 

Somewhere a long time ago, as bathrooms became designed into new houses and therefore became smaller, someone looked back and forth between the pedestal sink and the cabinet that had to be also in the room for storing or setting things down, like the toilet paper, shaving items, tooth brushes and toothpaste, soap dish, drinking glass, combs, blah blah, for which there was no room at the sink, and said, "hey, let's combine them!  Let's cut a hole in the cabinet top, set the sink in, and then we'll have lots of convenient space to set the things we use at the sink!"

Brilliant!  Like sliced bread!

Now middle-class bathrooms are tiny, and people want to stick a pedestal sink in a tiny room that has no space for a separate counter or cabinet - simply because pedestal sinks are fashionable. 

It makes no sense to me.  Hell, I want the biggest sink cabinet and countertop I can get!
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Monday, May 21, 2012

3534 Baby birds

Monday, May 21, 2012

The ultimate test of a relationship is to disagree but hold hands.
-- Alexander Penney --

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I've raised a few baby birds.


General Guidelines:

Wildlife rehab folks might have better info.  This is just my experience with a few baby birds; it worked for the birdies and me, and that's good enough.

The chick has to be kept warm.  If it's very young, tuck it into your bra or shirt pocket until you can get the nest set up.

Get a wide basket (best) or a bowl with straight sides no more than 1.5 inches high, and put some soft material in it.  Thick material if the sides are too high.  Tissues work fine, a piece of cotton flannel or wool cloth is best.  Don't use terrycloth because their claws get caught in it.  Put a heating pad set to low heat on a counter in a room you can close off, like a half-bath you're willing to give up for a while, and place the basket half on and half off the heating pad, so that the chick can select its own comfort zone.  You don't want to accidentally cook him.  A sheet of newspaper between the basket and the heating pad keeps things clean.

No matter what the adult birds eat, all songbirds feed their chicks bugs, grubs, and worms, because the babies need more protein than seed provides, and the babies can't yet grind up and digest seeds.  (The exceptions are pigeons, doves, and flamingos, who feed their chicks crop milk.) So go to a large pet pet shop, the kind that sells reptiles, amphibians, and fish, and buy a small rectangular plastic cage with a top with small holes in it, like you would use to keep insects or a mouse, and a handful of live mealworms to put in it with a bit of coarse yellow corn meal or oatmeal, and a slice of apple.  If the mealworms come in sizes, get the smaller skinnier ones.

Now feed the chick the mealy worms with tweezers.  The first time he may not recognize that it's a feeding, but rubbing the worm on his beak should get the idea across.  I squashed the head of the worms before offering them, because sometimes the lives ones will crawl out of the chick's mouth.   If it's a very small chick and very large worms, cut the worms in half or thirds.  Feed as often as you can.  When the chick is full, he won't open his mouth.  When he's ready for more, the mouth will be wide open.  If he's fed enough during daylight hours, night feedings are not necessary.  The mealworms in the cage will turn into beetles that mate and lay eggs, so if you bought enough to start with, your worm farm will provide a constant supply.

The chicks mostly get sufficient liquids from their food, but since we're not feeding as varied a diet as the parents would, once a day ONE TINY DROP of water from an eye dropper won't kill him.

In the wildlife videos, you often see (especially with vultures and condors) the caregivers using puppets to feed, so the chicks don't  "imprint on humans".  That doesn't seem to be a problem with songbirds.  The birds I've raised seem to know they're birds, know their breed, seem to learn their songs, become good parents, and stay wary of all other humans except me.  All on their own.

Poopy is easy.  When he has to go, the birdy will back up to the edge of the nest and poop over the edge.  That's why the sides of the basket should be low.  The poopy will be in a neat membranous bag with a convenient tag which you can pick up with tweezers and dispose of.

Eventually the birdy will grow real feathers, and start venturing out of the nest.  He'll flap and test his wings.  You can hold his toes as he sits on your finger and move your hand up and down so he gets the feeling of air under his wings (a breeze would do that in the wild, but there's no breeze in your bathroom).  Put some little branches in a flower pot a short distance from the nest to encourage him to venture out on his own.

If you can identify his breed, find out what the adults eat, and put a bowl of it nearby.  If he's a seed eater, he'll instinctively recognize it and try it when he's ready.  He'll also need some bird gravel to grind the seed in his crop.  If he's a bug eater, offer mealworms in a bowl.  If you don't know, offer both and he'll figure it out.  Offer a bowl of water, too.

The hard part is when he starts flying.  He'll perch everywhere and poop everywhere.  The window and shower curtain rods are favorite places.  I just took the curtains down for the nonce.   Pretty soon the birdy is ready for a bird cage, mainly for your own poop sanity.  You can let him out for practice flying sessions.  He'll be happy to fly from your finger to someplace high and back again.

When he's pretty confident flying, you can introduce him to outdoors. 

With my first baby bird, a robin, I simply opened the bathroom window.  She'd fly out and back in again, go into the cage to eat, then back out again.  It got to where she'd be gone all day, and then return to the cage (window and cage door left open) in the evening.  Then it was out overnight a time or two, and then she didn't return.  The rest of the story is below.

With the second bird, I wanted my bathroom back, so when he was ready for outside, he got transferred to the deck in the cage.  He'd fly from my finger around the back yard, and back to my finger.  Then I started just leaving the cage open all day.  He'd be gone all day, maybe come to sit on my finger if he saw me on the deck, then returning on his own to the cage at night, and I'd close the cage until morning so he'd be safe.  One day he brought a female back with him.  The two of them ate in the cage, then spent the night on the deck railing.  Eventually he stopped coming back.  The rest of the story is below.

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My Experience

The first was a robin that had fallen out of a nest and was picked up and taken home by some neighborhood children.   Usually when a chick falls out of a nest, the best thing to do is to put the chick back in the nest if you can (it's a myth that the parents will abandon a chick with human scent on it), or fasten a basket or something to the trunk of the tree as high as you can.  The adults will find the chick and care for it.  But in this case, the children couldn't remember where they'd found it.  The children's mother didn't know what to do with the chick.

The chick had some feathers started on her wings, but was still fluffy on her head and underside. It wouldn't be too long before she'd have been out of the nest anyway, so I volunteered to try raising it.  This was in the early '80s.  No internet.  I made things up as I went along.  (I say "she", but at the time I wasn't sure.  When she left she had the adolescent robin speckled breast, which could have been male or female.)

That was the robin mentioned above.

I mourned a bit when she finally didn't come back.  I hoped nothing had happened to her.  There was no sign of her for the rest of that summer, fall, or winter.

The next spring, a pair of robins built a nest in the tree just outside the bathroom window.  I'd never had robins nest in my backyard before then.

I was in the bathroom one day, and the mother robin landed on the windowsill and peered in the window.  I opened the window, and she flew away.  I left the window open, and she flew into the bathroom.  She flew out again when I went into the bathroom.

Yeah, I think it was her.

Although she wasn't "friendly", for the next four years there was a robin family in that tree, just outside the window, and eventually several more nests in other nearby trees.  Her children, grandchilden, and great-grandchildren, I like to think.  Like she told them, "This is a safe place."

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The second bird (and several subsequent) was a cowbird.  I have learned not to mention that I raised cowbirds.  People often get very angry at me.  A lot of people consider cowbirds evil, because they lay their eggs in other smaller birds' nests and then abandon them.  The cowbird chick hatches first, and pushes the other eggs or smaller chicks out of the nest to their doom and hogs the attentions of the much smaller foster parents.  Many people are disgusted with me, like I was turning Tasmanian Devils loose in the neighborhood.

The way I figure it, God didn't make any evil animals.  Even cowbirds have their reasons for being, their defined place in Nature.  Just because we don't like it doesn't make it evil.  Plus, they are native to this continent.  They have a right to exist.

When I married Jay, there was a pair of warblers who nested on the porch light every year.  I had a mirror on a stick, and liked to look in the nest every so often.  One day I saw a larger very different egg in there along with the original warbler four, and I knew immediately what it was.  I took it out and hatched it in a dish towel tied around my waist.  I named him "Birdie".  Yeah, I'm not very good at naming animals.

He was quite different from the robin in the way he related to me, probably because the robin had been raised to early adolescence by birds, but Birdie had never known any parent but me.  Plus, cowbirds are very adaptable by nature.  No matter what species raises them, they know they are cowbirds.

I swear the damn bird loved me.  He was so very intelligent, too.

He's the one who camped in the cage on the deck, and brought his first girlfriend home to his "pad" for dinner and to introduce her to his mom. He always came when called.  I'd hold my finger out and call "Birdie, Birdie", and if he was within sound of my voice he'd come to my finger.

I had a lot of affection for him.  I told Jay it was just like raising a child, but birth to leaving home was condensed into one spring and summer.  His first solid food, his first steps (flying), his first drive alone in the car (flying outside), his first girlfriend, his first overnight away from home, and then leaving for college.  I worried about him just like a  mother.

He visited often even into the fall.  I'd be standing on the deck (cigarette), and he'd arrive from nowhere and land on my head or shoulder and hop onto my finger.  Gradually visits became farther and farther apart.  Cowbirds feed in flocks, so I figured he'd joined a flock (my child in a gang!?) and was traveling with them  (visions of a motorcycle gang, Hell's Cowbirds!)  And then finally in late fall, I saw him no more.

The next summer, mid-summer, I was on the deck one day, and a cowbird landed on the railing.  He peered at me sideways, and sidled closer cautiously.  I said, "Birdie?" and held out my finger, and he jumped up and down, chirped excitedly, and flew to my finger.  Later a full flock of cowbirds visited the back yard, but there wasn't much for them to eat there compared to the pastures below the ridge, and the crows living in the woods next door objected, so they didn't stay long.  I figure that was "take Mom to the office picnic" day.

Pretty damn cool.

That was the last time I saw him.  I'm sure he's ok, just moved on to farther fields.

I continued to check the warblers' nest spring and late summer (they often raised two broods a year there), and about every other spring I found a cowbird egg, which I hatched and raised, with pretty much the same results as with Birdie.  When Jay got sick I put wire over the lights so the warblers would have to move, because I didn't know what I'd do if I found another cowbird egg.  Jay needed all my attention.  After he died I took the wire down, and the warblers came back, but I never found another strange egg to adopt.
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Sunday, May 20, 2012

3533 Old house, wagon, motherhood

Sunday, May 20, 2012

The best helping hand that you will ever receive is the one at the end of your own arm.
-- Fred Dehner --

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Back on 5/7 I said I had several days to catch up on, and then I didn't.  Let's test my memory.

Aborted trips

Week before last, 5/9, I went upriver to the old house with plans to bring some boxes and smaller furniture down.  Traffic was heavy because of roadwork and the trip took three hours.  I got there at 11 pm, desperate for the bathroom, and that's when I discovered I had forgotten to bring the house key.  It's countryside and small village.  Everything is closed by 9 PM.  The nearest public bathroom is 10 miles away across the river.

I shrugged and piddled on the driveway in the light of the van door.  I always wanted to do that....

Then I drove to the Wal-Mart and bought a toothbrush, toothpaste, and a nightgown, and got a room at a little motel near the Throughway.  It's the cheapest motel in the area, at $67 a night, but I had read very good reviews a few months ago.  It turned out to be simple, basic, in good repair, very clean, and remarkably quiet considering its proximity to the Throughway.  The next morning I drove back home.

That was depressing.  I now have a note on my front door listing all the things NOT to forget when I head upriver.

Last week, 5/15, I planned to try again.  Tuesday afternoon I took a load of cardboard and paper to the recycle center (yeah, we have twice a month pickup, but I'm rarely home on those days).  It began raining while I was unloading the van, and I noticed what looked like oil floating on the water running from under Fred.  He's now 10 years old, and he does sometimes spring leaks.  I planned to drive him upriver that evening.  It didn't seem like a good idea until I found out what was leaking, but ... I couldn't put the trip off because I had arranged to have the old house furnace serviced the next day, Wednesday.  Rescheduling (again!) is difficult.

So I drove the BMW north.  Hal, the one with the tiny leather back seat and the tiny trunk.   I wasn't able to bring back anything but one armload of clothes and two small boxes.

Another disappointing trip.

Since then I've had an amazing amount of energy.  I've assembled the Nugget's birthday wagon (steel Radio Flyer with all-terrain wheels and wood guard rails, whoop whoop!).  She loves riding in it, but it requires two adults, one to pull and one to walk alongside to make sure she doesn't try to climb out.   We've gone for a few walks with it.  I assembled a bunch of Ikea bookcases (they had a sale).  I cleaned, washed dishes (the dishwasher in the new house died on its 18-month birthday), sorted shoes, changed sheets, did some laundry, and pulled together a bunch of stuff to donate.  Today, when her mother wasn't looking, I taught the Nugget how to drink from a hose.

-----------------------------------


More cheap books!

Amazon has a "Kindle Daily Deal", providing one heavily discounted book on a daily basis.  It's at http://www.amazon.com/gp/feature.html/ref=kin_post_os_08242011_DailyDeal?&docId=1000677541.  You can subscribe to daily notices on the right of that screen.  You may have to change your Amazon account email notices to accept Kindle subscriptions.

I seems to take about two days to kick in, but then you get an email every morning with the day's bargain. I've got only two notices so far, and neither were books I was interested in, so I can't comment on the quality of the offerings.

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Why polls are bullpoopy

This one was on the radio during my drive upriver last week.  Somebody polled random people in the Albany area about fracking.
Approve = 37%
Oppose = 36%
No opinion = 27%
Have heard about fracking = 66%

Do the math.  7% of the people had an opinion on a topic they admit they'd never heard of.  (I was surprised that the news reader didn't remark on the discrepancy.)

-----------------------------------

Major dose of tender adoration

Orangutan mother with six-week-old infant.  Kisses and coochey-coos.

[http://youtu.be/nastRZIPRKM]
 .

Sunday, May 13, 2012

3532 You don't know you're 1/8 anything. Stop it.

Sunday, May 13, 2012

The art of life is to show your hand.
-- E. V. Lucas --

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Some woman somewhere running for some office or something has come under fire because her opponents claim that in applications she had claimed mixed heritage and used a university's diversity goals to achieve her position, and it is now discovered that her claimed mixed heritage consists of 1/32 Cherokee.

Bullpoopy.  You can't claim any genetic heritage less than 1/2 without a DNA test, and anyway, it's possible to be more culturally Cherokee than a full-blooded Cherokee, without having a single Cherokee gene.

Let's establish some definitions and ground rules.  Even 100% heritage is questionable, but let's grant that it does exist.  Most people confuse race and culture anyway.  Let's pretend that they're both valid classifications for various arguments, and for this argument I'll use common claims, not technical racial classifications.

So, let's assume someone who is 100% (let's call that 1/1) Cherokee has a baby with someone who is 1/1 European/Caucasian.  We can validly say that the baby is 1/2 Cherokee and 1/2 European/Caucasian, because half of its genes are pure Cherokee and half are pure Caucasian. (But if the child is raised Cherokee, does the proportion of genetic material matter?  Couldn't we say the child is culturally Cherokee, no matter what the genetic makeup?)

After that point, genetically speaking, all bets are off.  Because subsequent generations get a random mix of genes from the mother and father, the combination of 1/2 Cherokee/Caucasian and 1/2 Cherokee/Caucasian can produce offspring who can be genetically 1/1 Cherokee or 1/1 Caucasian, or any fraction between.  It just depends on what genes they happened to get.  The next generation is even more emulsified.  That's how white couples have black babies, and black couples have white babies.  Random combinations of available genes.

So anyone who says "I'm 1/4 German, 1/4 Welsh, 1/8 Polish, 1/8 Native American, 1/8 ..." is full of crap.  Without a DNA test you don't really know.  It's more accurate to just say, "I had a Cherokee great-great-grandmother, a Welsh great-grandmother, ...."  That at least is probably true.

So the woman who got her job at a university because she was 1/32 Native American?  The university should be ashamed. They should know better.  (So should she, unless she is at least 1/32 culturally Cherokee.  How do you measure that?  By counting and classifying her recipes and food preferences?)
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3531 Marriage or civil union?

Sunday, May 13, 2012

Hold a true friend with both hands.
-- Nigerian Proverb --

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I don't understand the fuss.  I really don't because the difference between them is just the words.  If (and that's a big if - of course it should) civil union grants all the same rights and privileges as marriage, then what's the fuss?  I don't get it.

The only difference between civil union and marriage is involvement of religion. 
Marriage is actually a religious thing which has been accepted as a legal thing. 
Civil union is a legal thing without necessarily the involvement in or approval of religion. 
Otherwise there is no difference.  It's just the word used.

My first two marriages were in churches.  The first would have been accepted by everyone as marriage.  The second one was not accepted as marriage by Ex#2's church because I was a divorcee.  So were we married?  As far as the government was concerned, yes, because of the legal aspect.  As far as his religion was concerned, no, and only because of the religious aspect. 

The third was by all definitions a civil union.  Jay and I swore fidelity and signed some papers (a contract!) in a judge's office.  So were Jay and I married?  I say no, not by the religious definition of marriage.  It was a civil union, and only a civil union!  It granted all the rights, responsibilities, and benefits of religious marriage, but it was purely a civil union!  It was a contract we entered into.

However, anyone in a civil union can by convention call themselves married.

So what's the fuss, and why are folks rejecting civil union and demanding marriage?

Insisting that "marriage" is between and man and a woman, only, is injecting religion into civil contracts.  I thought our constitution prohibited that.

I really don't understand all the fuss.  Anyone "joined" by a judge or JP is already in a civil union.  Why are people so hung up on the words?  It's just a word!
.

3530 Urology update

Sunday, May 13, 2012

The fragrance always remains in the hand that gives the rose.
-- Heda Bejar --

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Wow.  Several days to catch up on.  This being my diary to help my failing memory (damn Versed!) I have to be careful not to leave large blank swaths of time.

Tuesday of last week I had an appointment with the urologist.  Frustrating.  He'd received the results of my latest kidney ultrasound.  He was looking for cysts.  They didn't find any.  They didn't find any in the February ultrasound, either.  Or in any of the CT scans.  Now he wants some kind of fancier kidney scan, with radioactive contrast.

I'm remembering the trauma I went through with the IVP last year, the IVP that was ultimately useless, which had I known what they were looking for, I could have told them it would be.  I absolutely don't want to go through that again.  No way.  So I asked the doctor if this was absolutely necessary, and he said yes.  When I pressed for why, he said because "the condition is progressing".  This conversation was in the hall as I was on the way out and he was heading to the next patient. 

Progressing?  Every test has been the same!  They've all said exactly the same thing since last year at this time.  Progressing?  How?  I'm beginning to think he's just malpractice-shy and is covering his tail with tests.

I'm afraid if I try another urologist (there's only one other locally, and he's just down the hall from this guy), he'll want to repeat everything.  I don't want that.

I'm ready to spit nails.
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Wednesday, May 09, 2012

3529 Color confusion

Wednesday, May 9, 2012

No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

------------------------------

I read an article about color.  Did you know that there are many primitive peoples who have only a few names for color?  There are cultures in VietNam who use the same word for blue and green.  They consider leaves and sky to be literally the same color group, just different shades.

There are Pacific Islanders who describe all colors as either white or black (everything is divided into light or dark).  If you show them a color and ask what color it is, you get "light" or "dark".  That's the only differentiation.  Other light-dark tribes have added a name for red, so everything is light, dark, or red.  Light green and yellow are in the white group, dark green and purple are in the black group, and then there's red.

I personally have difficulty with the Euro-American classifications of the violet/purple group of colors.  When someone describes something as "purple", I have NO mental image of what color they mean.

In the Wikipedia entry on purple, I don't see Tyrian purple as purple at all.  I see it as reddish brown or "old blood".  I'd definitely put it in the red group, not the purple.  And it's interesting that Tyrian purple was the first purple dye, from shellfish.

"The color heliotrope is a brilliant tone of purple".  Sorry.  I see that as a pink.  I also see "red-violet" as a shade of pink.

I often see colors that I have no idea what to call them, and that's almost always in what others consider the purple group.  To me, they look like some shade of pink or blue.

I guess I draw my dividing line between red and purple, and between blue and purple, a lot closer to the purple side than most people do.  My "purple group" is very small.

------------------------------------

Note - before anyone tells me my monitor needs adjusting, I can assure you it doesn't.  I buy enough fabric, notions, yarns, and clothing online that I frequently ensure that my monitor is carefully calibrated against a hardcopy color card.   Besides, I'm not just talking about screen colors.  It's in real life, too.  Jay would come in the house and say something about "those little purple flowers in the side yard", and I'd have no idea what he was talking about, so he'd take me out and show me, and I'd say "They're not purple!  They're clearly obviously BLUE!  (...or PINK!)" and we'd be off on the same old discussion again.
.

3528 Free Books for Kindle

Wednesday, May 9, 2012

The American Way:  Privatize profits, socialize costs.

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(Note - "3528" is a post sequence number, not the number of books.)

You can get free books from Amazon for your Kindle, but plowing through the lists on Amazon is ... well ... like cleaning out the den closet at my old house.  There are hundreds of self-published and foreign language and badly translated books cluttering up the lists before you find the occasional classic or possibly decent read.

Go to http://ctrlq.org/amazon/ebooks/.  They list more reasonable choices.  Not exactly bestsellers, but reasonable possibilities.  Amazon updates free lists frequently, and ctrlq does, too, so check often.  Clicking on a book takes you directly to Amazon, where you can download it to your Kindle in seconds.

Hey!  FREE!

I downloaded In Deep VooDoo to check the process out.

------------------------------

Right now I'm reading Madame Bovary, another free ebook from Amazon, and another classic I'd never read.  I'm only up to chapter 8, but so far it's pleasantly readable.  I might even finish this one (as opposed to my five attempts so far at those seven gables, and the sadly frustrating and depressing Dickens everything).
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Tuesday, May 08, 2012

3527 Expect the unexpected

Tuesday, May 8, 2012

You can't shake hands with a clenched fist.
-- Indira Gandhi --

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Yesterday, Daughter and I took the Nugget  for a walk.  Nugget likes to walk until she gets tired.  She walked to the end of our street and down a steep maintenance road toward the bay.  She saw a rough trail into the woods, so she and Daughter took off down that while I trundled the umbrella stroller on down the maintenance road.  After they came back out onto the road, we cut down a steep rock and sand bank to the seawall, where there's a new smooth cement sidewalk above the edge of the water.

After all that rough walking with no difficulty Nugget took about three steps on the smooth walkway and suddenly pitched forward, landing on her palms and chin.  LOTS of blood, all down the front of her shirt.  Only a little crying, though.  Daughter scooped her up and ran for home.  Washing, ice packs.
The damage, as of today:
You can see the two teeth up top that did the damage to her swollen lower lip.  Her chin looks terrible.  Daughter was worried that bone might have been chipped, but there's no bruising, so I think we escaped with just abrasion.

It doesn't seem to bother Nugget, though.  She still eats crackers happily.

--------------------------------

We also heard yesterday that a neighbor's cat had brought home a dead bat.  The neighbor's first impulse was to toss it down into the ravine, but then she called animal control just in case, and it was tested, and yeah, it had rabies.

The animal control people didn't say anything else.

Her cat had been vaccinated, but her children had touched the bat and played with the cat.  Anybody know what the danger might be, if any?

----------------------------------

These two issues - the rabid bat and the sudden oops on the walk - helped Daughter to make a decision.  Hercules is changing jobs, and the three of them will be without health insurance for somewhere between one and two months.  Because he's leaving voluntarily, they aren't eligible for COBRA.

Daughter checked into short-term insurance, and the same plan that's $700/month in Pennsylvania is $2000/month in New Jersey.  Ouch.  She can get into a group plan through her professional association for  a lot less, but it's still expensive for one or two lousy months.

Hercules hates insurance companies, and wants to do without until his employer's plan kicks in.

Daughter has asked her friends through Facebook what kind of medical expenses they could expect at Nugget's age, and everyone's all "Ho Hum","occasional colds",  advice like "don't go to a doctor, go to the urgent care center, it's cheaper", and so on.

They've been going 'round and 'round about it.  Me?  I'm freaking out.  I told Daughter that you don't get insurance for expected things.  You get it for the unexpected.  Insurance is a bet you make with the insurance company, a bet you hope to lose and they hope to win.  I advised her to get a catastrophic policy, something with a high out-of-pocket, like $10,000, and then full coverage after that.  "You realize that if something unexpected happens, you could lose your house."  (I didn't tell her, but I was remembering Jay.  Until his first seizure, he was very healthy.  In fact, he had just got off the treadmill when it hit.  After the seizure, it was $400,000 or more a year.  We were very lucky to have an excellent policy.  You never know what could happen.)

Well, until yesterday, Daughter couldn't imagine a catastrophe.  She couldn't even imagine "unexpected". 

Now she can.
.

Sunday, May 06, 2012

3526 Punished

Sunday, May 6, 2012

Humans are one of the most complicated things we can mass produce through unskilled labor.

(Oddly enough, being more skilled doesn't produce a better product.  Just maybe more of them.)

------------------------------------------

I went to Rakkasah.  I swore I wouldn't buy anything there - just look at stuff and watch the dancers.  I don't need any clothing, jewelry, or anything else.  Since in the past almost no one there took credit cards, I took a little bit of cash for entrance fee and food, and one credit card for emergencies, and figured I was safe.

I forgot that there's a difference between need and want.  Also that in the past few years venders have acquired fancy devices for internet connection, and therefore can more easily take credit cards.  Two skirts and a blouse later....

But Fate punished me.  Immediately after I had paid for the last purchase, a woman spilled her entire cup of light & sweet coffee smack into my shopping bag and everything in it.  She also got the skirt I was wearing, my stockings and shoes, and onto and into my purse.

I left immediately, drove home, and tossed everything into the washing machine before they dried.  One of the new skirts had little (plastic, sequin-like, bound in embroidery thread) mirrors on beaded strands just above a ruffle at the hem, and I guess they couldn't handle the (gentle!) tumbling in the machine - 24 or more of them came off, the beaded strands suspending them broke, which I didn't discover until I took the skirt out of the dryer.

So now somewhere in the workings of my washer and dryer are a thousand tiny glass beads, and at least two small mirrors.
.

Saturday, May 05, 2012

3525 Elegant, and not

Saturday, May 5, 2012

The hand is the cutting edge of the mind.
-- Jacob Bronowski --

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Elegant.  Elegant is the word I was looking for in the last post.  Everyone who had ever explored code written by Jay described it as "elegant".

The word elegant, in general, is an adjective meaning of fine quality. Refinement and simplicity are implied, rather than fussiness, or ostentation. An elegant solution, often referred to in relation to problems in disciplines such as mathematics, engineering, and programming, is one in which the maximum desired effect is achieved with the smallest, or simplest effort. Engineers, for example, seek the elegant solution as a means of solving a problem with the least possible waste of materials and effort. The elegant solution is also likely to be accomplished with appropriate methods and materials - according to the Elegant Solution Organization, duct tape is not likely to be part of an elegant solution, unless, of course, the problem involves taping ducts.

(A bit of trivia:  Duct tape is, in fact, not suitable for taping ducts, except perhaps on the outside of insulation around the duct.  Temperature extremes will destroy the glue.)

---------------------------------

I'm going to Rakkasah Spring Caravan today.  I do not plan to buy anything beyond an entrance ticket and food. We'll see how well I can hold to that.
.

Thursday, May 03, 2012

3524 Good enough is good enough. Usually.

Thursday, May 3, 2012

Love is the only game you are sure to lose by declining to play.

-------------------------------------------

The past two days, Daughter and Nugget have come over while I was on the porch with my post-breakfast cigarette.  Daughter says Nugget sees me from the window, yells "Amma!  Amma! Amma!" (Gramma!), jumps up and down and waves her arms and makes it clear she wants to come over.  If the window's open, I hear her.

Daughter escorts her across the street, and Nugget is all smiles.

But I suspect it's not "Amma" she's so excited about. 

I meet them on the porch in front of the door.  I get a quick hug from the Nugget, and then she reaches toward the door, turning her wrist.  She wants the door opened.

I suspect she's madly in love with my house.

--------------------------------

Another blogger (RockyCat) was recently distressed by a Craigslist ad she'd found, advertising kittens ready for adoption.  The ad was full of typos and misspelled words.  It was pitiful.  Rocky was sickened by it. (Here.)

I didn't comment because I had to think about it a bit, and now my thoughts are too long for a comment.

Yeah, the failure of American schooling?  But maybe English isn't her native language?  On the other hand, if one makes the necessary spelling corrections, the ad was rather well composed with all the necessary information, which these days is something unexpected and to be admired.

My thoughts eventually led to Jay's perfectionism.  He'd blow deadline after deadline making sure that some piece of code was perfect.  He wasn't satisfied unless it was as tight as it could be, as small as it could be, as fast as it could be, as efficient as it could be, and still handle every possibility, even those never considered by the product design.  He'd fiddle and fiddle.  He wouldn't let go until it was absolutely perfect.  And to do this, he'd blow his own deadlines, the deadlines of everyone down the line who depended on his piece, the product announce and delivery dates, and lose the market advantage.  And then (pure Asperger) he didn't understand why everyone was mad at him.  "It's perfect!  I couldn't release something that wasn't perfect!"

I had to watch over him.  I had to be aware of his target dates.  And as they approached, I'd have to hold his hand, look him in the eye, and say, over and over, "Good enough is good enough.  What are the written requirements?  Does it meet requirements?  Yes?  Then it's good enough.  Maybe it's not perfect, but it doesn't need to be.  You can update it later.  Good enough is good enough."

So, back to the Craigslist ad.

I hate to admit this, but it's good enough.  The reader has no great difficulty understanding what it's saying, and it conveyed all the information.  (I had a bit of difficulty with "they are verry qute", reading it first as "quiet" until "cute" dawned on me.)  The reader isn't left with a lot of respect for the educational level of the writer, but that wasn't a requirement for an ad of this type.

In this case, it was good enough.

It hurts to say that. 

---------------------------------

The writings that upset and scare me most the ones I can't read, or can't understand, because they're full of text-speak or acronyms or "urban-defined" words, or when the writer has chosen the wrong word (decimate/devastate)(problematic/a problem)(loan/lend)(lose/loose)(its/it's), or the wrong homonym (to/too)(site/sight), or something like incident/incidents/incidence, or horror of all horrors, incidences, which isn't even a word at all.   The kind of thing that LOOKS like it should be read literally but creates the wrong picture in my mind when read literally, and I have to back up and attempt to figure out what they REALLY meant, which sometimes isn't possible.  I mean, if we could read minds, why write at all?

Those are the errors that have me blowing stream, especially when made by "professional" writers.

(E.G. - I was reading a post about an acquaintance's hiking trip a few days ago, wherein he mentioned "a beautiful site" he'd seen. I stopped and frowned.  I thought I'd missed the part where he'd said he was looking to purchase some real estate in the mountains.  When I realized it was HIS error, I was pissed at him.)
.

Wednesday, May 02, 2012

3523 Jasper says "No room at the inn!"

Wednesday, May 2, 2012

Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from religious conviction.
-- Blaise Pascal --

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In my March 26 post, I asked if any rich or famous people had died waiting for a transplant - name one. (See also this post for the explanation as to why rich people rarely wait too long).  A commenter pointed out that Robert Goulet had died waiting for a lung.  I just found out that he died exactly one month after a diagnosis of idiopathic pulmonary fibrosis.  He very likely wasn't strong enough for transplant within two or three weeks of the diagnosis, and didn't have the time or strength to travel to get on more than one or two lists, so ... I don't think that counts.  My challenge stands.

-------------------------------

Contrary to the advice I give others, I almost adopted another stray cat last week.

Three days in a row a young, probably no more than 5 months old, unaltered male tabby visited my front porch.  He was absolutely beautiful!  A rich reddish gold and cream swirl-type tabby with enormous dark gold eyes that matched his coat perfectly.  Pink nose.  He was very friendly, allowed petting, and he was very very thin.  His little waistline was pinched. Otherwise looked healthy.  No collar.

I offered him some dry food, and he gobbled it up.  Three days in a row he visited briefly in mid-afternoon, ate some kibble, sat with me on the glider while I read, and then went off to explore.  I seriously considered adopting him as a strictly outdoor kitty.  I was planning his vet visit and collar color and tag info and everything.

On the fourth day I saw some young teen girls walking up the road.  One of them was carrying MY cat.  He now had a collar on.  He seemed perfectly happy, rubbing his cheek on her neck.

Saved by the belle.

---------------------------------

My back is still complaining, but not at all like over the weekend.  I can sit, stand, and walk just fine, but I get warnings when I lift things or bend wrong.  It'll be ok.
.

Sunday, April 29, 2012

3522 Back

Saturday, April 28, 2012

Lying is not a sin.  It’s a business plan.

------------------------------------------------------------

I hate when you're watching a movie on TV, and you have to jack up the volume to 50 to be able to hear it, and then a commercial comes on and the blast sets off the car alarm in the garage.

-------------------------------

I went up river this past week.  I put a lot of heavy stuff in the van on Wednesday, small pieces of furniture and boxes of papers and books.  I was a little worried about the effects on my back of wrestling it all out of the old house, but Thursday and Friday my back was fine.  So Friday I made dozens of trips up and down stairs carrying loads of stuff.  Friday evening my back went out.  I am now wearing the brace off and on, and walking all twisted into a corkscrew.

--------------------------------

Daughter and Hercules have set up a measuring board in their kitchen.  Heights of Mommy, Daddy, Gramma, and the Nugget  are now marked on it.

For much of my early adult life I'd been 4' 11".  A decade or two ago I went to 4' 10", and until yesterday that's what I always wrote on forms.  I am now a hair under 4' 9".  Under!

That's downright scary.  I've lost more than two inches since my early 40s, and I've never had that many to spare.  I think I've lost the latest inch just in the past two years, because suddenly things I had hemmed not all that long ago are too long.  Slacks seem to be unaffected, but dresses and caftans are dragging on the ground, which would indicate I've got spinal compression in progress.  (Yes, I do stand straight. I have to, to protect my back.)

This is not cool.

---------------------------------

There's not a single cloud in the sky today.  A most incredible blue.  A half-moon is visible directly opposite the sun.  I wish I could enjoy it.  Mostly I'm standing in a hot shower, the massage setting directed on my lower back, or lying on the floor.

It's weird, but if I consciously tell myself to relax my back, I can move easily and the pain lessens.  As soon as I forget, it clenches up and hurts.  I guess the medical community refers to that as guarding.

Relax, relax, relax.
.

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

3521 Uh....

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

“I'm not upset that you lied to me, I'm upset that from now on I can't believe you.”
-- Friedrich Nietzsche --

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When did "convo" become a verb?  A transitive one, at that?  "Convo me if you're interested in my product."

Yes, I understand it includes call, text, and email, but doesn't "contact" work as well?  In fact, "contact" implies that you are to initiate the conversation.  What meaning does "convo" add that "contact" doesn't already have?
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3520 Hair

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Barbara Kingsolver's character Adah in The Poisonwood Bible points out that God created vermin and microbes as well as humans, and "He's not necessarily rooting for just the humans."

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Hair cut:
Week 1 - much too short
Week 2 - too short
Week 3 - too short
Week 4 - a little too short
Week 5 - almost right
Week 6 - PERFECT!
Week 7 - too long, unruly, can't do a thing with it, aaaaggghh!
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3519 My weekend at the shore, Part 2

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

I thought about committing suicide, but in Buffalo, suicide is redundant.
-- A Chorus Line --

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On Saturday morning we awoke to fog. And voices.  And the boom of feet on boards.  When I went out, this is what I saw:


 There were thousands of them, and they kept passing for hours.  They were running from Asbury Park (next town to the north) to a few miles south, then back again, and then turned around and did it several more times.  Some were running a 5K, some were running a half marathon.  Some were running alone, some were running as teams, some were passing a baton to team members at each end (relay?).  Some people were still running at 1 pm.

I wanted to stick a number on the Nugget and take her for a walk on the boardwalk.  That would have been funny.

The fog cleared, and it turned into a nice but windy day.  I stayed at the hotel while Nugget took her midday nap and her parents went window shopping. Nugget woke up before they got back, so she and I snuck out to the beach.  It was Nugget's first sand.

We walked down the stairs from the boardwalk to the sand, and she took three barefoot steps on the sand, was surprised by the texture, plopped down, and checked it out.  She was fascinated by how she couldn't hold a handful.  The way it blew away as it sifted through her fist.  The way it was so easy to dig in it.  The way you could bury your feet by kicking them, and then find them again.

She found a flattish piece of shell and dug with that.  Buried it.  Dug it up again.

The wind was helpful.  I turned her with her back to the wind, and the wind kept the sand out of her face.

We were still sitting there when Daughter and Hercules returned to the hotel, found us gone, and called my cell in a panic.  They came down, we played a little more, Nugget demonstrated the special properties of sand for them, and then they decided to carry her to the water.

The waves are really far from the boardwalk.  I declined to walk that far on soft sand, so they went without me.  They returned pretty quickly, actually, with Nugget half naked wrapped in a jacket, and Daughter looking panicked.

When they got to the wet sand, easier to walk on, they had set the Nugget down.  She hit the ground running and was waist deep in a wave before they caught her.  Cold cold water, wind.

Back at the hotel Hercules and the Nugget found a cabinet in the lobby filled with ancient board games.  Nugget's favorites were the dominoes and the playing cards.

We left Sunday about 11:30 am, and I was home by noon.

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Nugget's friend Sky had visited for the birthday party, and earlier Saturday a little girl named Rain had come into the lobby with her parents.  Sky and Rain?**  I feel like I have to make it clear that "Nugget" is not my granddaughter's name. Her name is a respectable old name.

** That might actually be Skye and Rayne or whatever fancified spelling.  Same thing....
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Monday, April 23, 2012

3518 My weekend at the shore

Monday, April 23, 2012

You don't have to be a thing of beauty to be a joy forever.
-- Flip Wilson, as Geraldine --

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Daughter, Hercules, Nugget and I all spent the weekend at a shore-front B&B in Ocean Grove.  The original plan was for a big family gathering on Saturday to celebrate the Nugget's first birthday (which is actually this coming Thursday), but no other family members accepted the invitation.  Sheesh.  Nugget's little playmate Sky and Sky's parents came, and that was ok.

Daughter didn't get a cake for Nugget - she got a custard & fruit pie - and given the Nugget's speed at grabbing we didn't use candles.  But there were balloons!




In the photo above, she already has two big strawberries in her mouth and is reaching for more.




 Nugget actually ate half that pie!  There was a second pie for the adults.  (The t-shirt says "Nobody puts Baby in a corner".)


 Balloons!  Nugget moves so fast these days it's difficult to get a still photo when she's on her feet.

The above is the hotel as seen from the boardwalk in the Saturday morning fog. My room was second floor left.
The above is the view from my room's porch, on Friday evening.  Yeah, it needs editing, but no time right now.

Hmmm.  I just tried to upload a second video (a more interesting one) showing what I woke up to on Saturday morning, but when I click on the "Upload a video" button now, it just sits and stares at me.  I have to leave for dance class in a few minutes (yeah, Gypsy, it's BD, but again I'm not really dancing, just exercising), so I'll have to try again in a later post.

To be continued....
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Tuesday, April 17, 2012

3517 Filthy floors

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Stories are simple sequences of events, plots are about causes,
motivation ..., what stories mean. ...life is all stories, and fiction is all plots.....
-- Peter Ho Davies --

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Well, I am only a little stiff today. A little bit of pain down the left hip and thigh. I put the brace on anyway, just to make sure. So far, so good.

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My floors are gross. I haven't swept or vacuumed in ages, and there are crushed leaves, dirt, and cat hair everywhere. I passionately hate vacuuming. The weight. The dragging and controlling of the cord. I purposely rejected carpeting in the new house so it would be easier to keep the floors and stairs clean, but, uh, I hate sweeping, too. The bits escaping, the dust flying, the trying to corral it all. The moving of things in the way.

I bought two vacuum cleaners for this house so I wouldn't have to carry any up and down stairs. But the flipping things are heavy to use. I prefer canisters, because the weight stays on the floor and the head is light, but good canisters are next to impossible to find these days. So I got bagless uprights. I hate them. Being short, I hold the handle lower than most people, which puts the entire weight of the mechanism on my arm, and then moving it out and back strains my lower back. Hate, hate, hate!

So I got the Roombas, one for each floor. But there are a lot of table and chair legs the Roomba can't get between, and the floor is cluttered with cat and toddler toys that I have to pick up first, plus the cat's food tray, and curtains that touch the floor, and shoes under the bed with shoelaces that the Roombas like to eat, and, and, and, and it's a LOT of work for not such a great job (Roomba's exhaust tends to blow dirt, especially cat hair, sideways onto tracks it's already cleaned). I haven't turned them loose in months.

Sigh.

I hate it all.

I looked at the floors today and thought, "I've GOT to do something, now!"

So, I bought (online) a rechargeable vacuum stick. It's lightweight, no cord. We used to call them electric brooms. It's a Eureka, so it should be adequate. With its ten inch wide head it should be easy to maneuver around stuff. No bag.

I don't know how long it will take to get here, but nothing will be done with the floors until it arrives.

Temporary reprieve.
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